Loss and Light

First and foremost, let me apologize for the absence of blog posts. After my dad asked if there was an issue with the website as no new content had been added since January, I decided it was time to buckle down and write. So here is my sincerest apology - I have no excuse so will not bore you with something smart or witty, but I will say: I’m sorry.

It is hard to put into words my experience thus far at Agahozo-Shalom. The past five months have been filled with the purest joy and the deepest sorrow. As many of you reading this post know, Anne Heyman, the founder of ASYV, passed away this February. Her untimely death devastated the Village. I did not feel comfortable writing or speaking about her passing until I had begun to digest the awful news. I intentionally use the word “begun” as overcoming tragedy is ephemeral; there is no time frame for healing. And while life in the Village has resumed some semblance of normalcy, the staff and the students will never stop mourning the loss of Anne. I can only imagine the pain her family must be experiencing. My heart breaks for them, and my thoughts often turn to them.

Over the recent vacation, my parents and I explored the vast landscape of Namibia and enjoyed the beautiful scenery and cosmopolitan cities of South Africa (see next blog of pictures). As they always do, my mom and dad brought me the latest New Yorkers and recent articles they thought I would enjoy, which included an Op-Ed by David Brooks.

In “What Suffering Does,” Brooks explores the nature of loss and humanity’s ambition to maximize happiness. It is common behavior for people to speak of their future in terms of personal prosperity and contentment. However, when looking to the past, the most significant moments are often the most challenging. “People shoot for happiness but feel formed through suffering,” Brooks writes. It is easy and certainly more fun to dream of our bright future than to live in our painful present or reflect on our difficult past. Suffering changes this logic of emphasizing our advantages and pleasures. It brings us to the present and provides a mirror in which we are forced to confront our own limitations. In this way, suffering can provide a deeper gift than even the most extreme happiness.

It is easy and simple to think of loss as purely loss (which it certainly can be at times). However, I believe Anne would have wanted the ASYV family to consider her death as something beyond the immeasurable pain abiding in her absence. Perhaps Anne’s death was her final contribution to the Village. I imagine Anne holding up a mirror, encouraging the students and staff to recognize their beautiful minds and spirits while also understanding the challenges, which are beyond any person’s control; to take responsibility for their actions and advantage of all the amazing opportunities ASYV provides; to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their boundless self worth.