Loss and Light

First and foremost, let me apologize for the absence of blog posts. After my dad asked if there was an issue with the website as no new content had been added since January, I decided it was time to buckle down and write. So here is my sincerest apology - I have no excuse so will not bore you with something smart or witty, but I will say: I’m sorry.

It is hard to put into words my experience thus far at Agahozo-Shalom. The past five months have been filled with the purest joy and the deepest sorrow. As many of you reading this post know, Anne Heyman, the founder of ASYV, passed away this February. Her untimely death devastated the Village. I did not feel comfortable writing or speaking about her passing until I had begun to digest the awful news. I intentionally use the word “begun” as overcoming tragedy is ephemeral; there is no time frame for healing. And while life in the Village has resumed some semblance of normalcy, the staff and the students will never stop mourning the loss of Anne. I can only imagine the pain her family must be experiencing. My heart breaks for them, and my thoughts often turn to them.

Over the recent vacation, my parents and I explored the vast landscape of Namibia and enjoyed the beautiful scenery and cosmopolitan cities of South Africa (see next blog of pictures). As they always do, my mom and dad brought me the latest New Yorkers and recent articles they thought I would enjoy, which included an Op-Ed by David Brooks.

In “What Suffering Does,” Brooks explores the nature of loss and humanity’s ambition to maximize happiness. It is common behavior for people to speak of their future in terms of personal prosperity and contentment. However, when looking to the past, the most significant moments are often the most challenging. “People shoot for happiness but feel formed through suffering,” Brooks writes. It is easy and certainly more fun to dream of our bright future than to live in our painful present or reflect on our difficult past. Suffering changes this logic of emphasizing our advantages and pleasures. It brings us to the present and provides a mirror in which we are forced to confront our own limitations. In this way, suffering can provide a deeper gift than even the most extreme happiness.

It is easy and simple to think of loss as purely loss (which it certainly can be at times). However, I believe Anne would have wanted the ASYV family to consider her death as something beyond the immeasurable pain abiding in her absence. Perhaps Anne’s death was her final contribution to the Village. I imagine Anne holding up a mirror, encouraging the students and staff to recognize their beautiful minds and spirits while also understanding the challenges, which are beyond any person’s control; to take responsibility for their actions and advantage of all the amazing opportunities ASYV provides; to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their boundless self worth.

5 Things You Need To Know About Gisenyi

Noheli Nziza, Umwaka mushya!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Before returning to the Village to welcome the new students, I traveled to Gisenyi, a town in the Western Province of Rwanda. Here are 5 things I think you need to know about this spectacular place!

1.  Order your food two hours before you want to eat, even if you are not hungry. For those of you who are close to me, you know that I suffer from hanger (becoming angry when hungry). Even if you are getting a raw avocado for lunch, it is imperative to order two hours before you think you may even begin to be hungry. It will probably take longer.
2. You will never be clean, but feeling dirty never looked so good. The running water vacillates between muddy brown and milky white. The insanely beautiful landscape of Lake Kivu makes up for your permanent stench.
3. Swim at your own risk. At least that is what the sign warns on the beach. Not that you need to worry about marine life; it is more the lax dumping laws from neighboring Goma, which brings me to the next point…
4. You are a hop, skip, or jump away from the Congo. Don’t worry; I did not go there. I just drove to the border, which consisted of fence barely two feet tall. Sorry Mom and Dad.
5. Gisenyi is one of the most beautiful places in the world. If you ever have a chance to visit Lake Kivu, take it. And then go back again and again and again.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
     

Nyamata Church Memorial

Last Saturday I visited Nyamata, a town in southeastern Rwanda thirty minutes outside of Kigali. The bus ride there was beautiful, rolling hills quilted with lush farmland and whirling red roads. Arriving in Nyamata, I quickly became aware of how accustomed I had become to life in Kigali. A bustling, extraordinarily clean city, Kigali bears little to no resemblance to its neighboring towns. Nyamata “town” consists of a single street of concrete stores, restaurants and vacant spaces, stretching for approximately one kilometer.

The reason for this trip was to visit a genocide memorial in one of the churches in Nyamata. After a myriad of futile attempts asking for directions, we finally found a kind high school student named Moses, who led us to the church. Situated behind an elementary school, the memorial was enclosed by a painted metal gate and small garden.

We were immediately greeted by a soft-spoken guard who led us inside the church. On April 10, 1994, over the course of 5 days, 10,018 men, women and children were murdered here. Their clothing and personal belongings were resting on the pews, still arranged as if for worship; the mounds of clothing huddled together facing the altar.

The stillness in the air was one of the first things I noticed. Then the small hairbrush coated in dirt but still recognizably pink. As I walked through the pews toward the front of the church, the guard gently tapped my shoulder. “That is blood,” he whispered, pointing to the discolored white cloth draped gently over the altar.

Behind the church, a shaded veranda covered the remainder of the memorial. Several staircases led to cellars with floor to ceiling shelves of skulls, bones and crates holding up to fifty individuals.  A mass grave, wide enough for just one person to walk through.

10,018 men, women and children sought refuge in this church, a place customarily considered to be holy, sacred and safe. Yet where was god when these 10,018 men, women and children were killed? Faith aside, where was humanity? I think I will find myself returning to this question often during my time in Rwanda. 

Muraho from Kigali!!

Watching the small white plane inch forward – this is what I have been doing for the past four hours. Partially because it convinces me that I have some control over the safety of the airplane, but mostly because I cannot believe I’ll be in Rwanda later tonight, or very early tomorrow morning.  After a 9-hour trip to Istanbul next to a very talkative religious Jewish couple, and then another seven-hour trip from Istanbul, the nose of the plane is nearly touching the yellow circle marking Kigali. I can hardly wait!

Those are some notes I wrote while on the plane – and now I am sitting in Bourbon Coffee, a place I know I will frequent, in Kigali.  It is hard to believe I left New York a week ago; in many ways, it feels like I have been in Rwanda much longer.

A quick summary of what I’ve been doing: we spent last Friday and Saturday in Kigali, exploring the city, eating delicious food, and riding motos (yes – motorocycles!). We left for Agahozo-Shalom on Sunday morning and spent the next couple days at a Seminar with other staff and moving into our new homes. The Village itself is so beautiful. Rolling green hills, lush gardens, and mango and avocado trees sprawl the 144-acre campus. The Rwandan staff at ASYV are quite possibly the warmest, most beautiful people I have ever encountered. I cannot wait to live, work and learn from them this coming year.

We have now returned to Kigali for a short break before returning to the Village to welcome the new students in the Enrichment Class. These students will be formed into families of 16, by gender, with a Rwandan Mama, Big Sister or Brother, and cousin (one of us!). I cannot wait to meet my Mama, Big Sister and family of girls, and the rest of the returning students. We have had the privilege of meeting some of the recent graduates and current students, and they are nothing short of exceptional.

Okay, I guess this was my first blog! I will try to write weekly or bi-weekly posts with lots of stories and pictures (my New Year’s resolution)!  For now, enjoy these pictures from the Village!